That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
