Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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