I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
