By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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