ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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