she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
