Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
