Dual....:-)
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
