just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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