I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
