I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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