Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
