That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think I sprained my soul last night
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
