big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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