Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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