So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
