this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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