my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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