you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
