My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
