i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no you cant smoke seaweed
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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