I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
