Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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