i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
