I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
