When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
