I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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