She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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