Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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