I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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