I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he laminated a picture of his dick.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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