Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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