and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
