Me too!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This house was built for laser tag.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
