I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
