I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
