I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
