ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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