My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
