Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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