Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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