They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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