I wish i was in the wii world.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize