i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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