And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
