I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I smell like Dick and happiness
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