but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
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