I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I sprained my soul last night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
