I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
even my farts smell like vagina
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
