apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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