i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
