Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
