next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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